


Cool of Evening

by beingextremelygay



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Big Brother Sokka (Avatar), Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Boys In Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gay, Gay Zuko (Avatar), Hurt Sokka (Avatar), Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Kissing, Love, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Zuko (Avatar), Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:13:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28967385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beingextremelygay/pseuds/beingextremelygay
Summary: Sokka wakes up from a nightmare. Zuko helps him, and they go on a walk through the palace at night. Just fluff.
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 80





	Cool of Evening

Sokka woke suddenly, his hands jerking upwards, a sudden intake of breath and his body ready to move. It took him a minute to remember himself, in the dark. 

The silk sheets under his skin, the faint smell of jasmine incense, the swaying of the sheer curtains around the bed, the sleeping rhythm of the warm body next to him. To his right, Zuko stirred. Sokka took a deep, controlled breath- that did not come easily- and slowly convinced his muscles to prop him to an upright position. 

Nightmares weren’t uncommon, in this bedroom. Most nights, Sokka would wake at some point, rolling over to coo his lover back to sleep, “Shh, it’s ok, you’re safe. Everyone’s ok.” But on some nights, like this, Sokka would find himself trembling. Everyone wasn’t ok, no matter how hard he tried. Their faces, their fleeting hands, their voices asking him to do something, begging him to have any sort of plan, would shake him from his dreamscape, back into his twenty five year old body. 

He rubbed his palms over his face. He would be fine, Sokka decided. This was fine. No need to wake Zuko from a rare night of full rest. He just needed to stretch, maybe get some air. Looking to the doors flung wide open onto the balcony, he was surprised to see how bright the world seemed. His eyes adjusted, and realized why. The full moon hung low, full and bright in the sky. 

Something crumbled in him. 

“Love?” He said, quietly, too low to stir Zuko. Then again, “My Love?” Sokka touched his husband’s shoulder in the silver glow of the night.   
“Hmm?” A sleepy grunt, more concerned than annoyed.   
Sokka couldn’t bring himself to say anything more. At the lack of response, Zuko turned to look at him, and melted into understanding. 

“I’m sorry, I-“ Sokka trailed off, not realizing what he would even say. His face fell into his hands and he took another breath. He felt the warmth of Zuko’s arms around him, and the gentle rocking that came with it. One of their many little routines. When Zuko was activated in grief, he often couldn’t be touched without feeling threatened. Sokka, on the other hand, needed to be held. Needed to feel encircled. Here, Sokka felt safe enough to cry. He held his knees, and let his head drop.

Zuko didn’t say anything, but through the firmness of his hug, his fingers playing lighting with Sokka’s hair, and his soft occasional kisses on the back of his lover’s neck, Sokka knew he was attentive. There was no rush. Several long minutes passed without words, as Sokka took heavy breaths and let his shoulders shake. 

When he finally lifted his head, Zuko took the blanket and wiped his tears, and pressed his lips to Sokka’s temple.   
“I just… needed to see you.” Sokka relented.   
“Yeah?”   
“Yeah. I needed to see some life in your eyes. Know you were there.”   
“I’m always here. That’s not changing.”  
“No I know, I just…” Sokkka trailed off, taking Zuko’s hand and holding it to his chest, the way a child might grasp at a blanket.   
Zuko tucked an unbraided strand behind Sokka’s ear, an idea forming in his mind.   
“How about we go on a walk?”

“What were you dreaming about?” Zuko asked. Their bare feet meeting marble floors. They hadn’t bothered changing from their pyjamas.   
Sokka knew he could avoid this answer if he wanted to. Talking about dreams was sometimes hard for him. They sounded so silly when you actually described them, that he worried his emotions would seem out of bounds. His hesitation must have been obvious. After a few moments his husband remarked, smiling coyly “You know, my uncle says dreams lose their power, when exposed to fresh air.”  
“Hey, that’s my line to throw at you, dummy” he laughed.  
“Well, he’s my uncle so I can quote him whenever I like. I didn’t know you owned proverbs.”   
Sokka smiled, avoiding eye contact.   
“Hey, you don’t actually have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” Zuko affirmed.  
“It’s not that. It’s just I know what you’re gonna say already.”   
“Maybe I’ll surprise you.”

They approached the turtleduck pond, and rested on the grass, dry with late spring. The light reflected off the pond, still and perfect as glass.   
“Is it Yue?” Zuko asked. There was no tension in his voice. There was no topic forbidden between them, including the places Sokka’s heart had lived before him.  
“Yes, but also everyone else.” Sokka’s leg rested off the edge of the pond, the bottom of his heel meeting water, sending ripples across the image.   
Zuko said nothing, but raised his eyebrows, leaving space for Sokka to go on.   
“It’s also my mom,” Sokka relented. “It’s everyone. I should have known what to do.”   
Zuko traced his hand along Sokka’s jaw, a small touch to remind him where he was.   
“Sokka, you were a child. You shouldn’t have had to protect anyone.”   
“I shouldn’t have run to my dad. I should have checked on my mom. Maybe if Katara hadn’t been alone I- I don’t know.”   
He kicked the water again.   
“Everyone who was captured during the invasion was my fault. I made the stupid plan. I didn’t think it through.”  
“Everyone was ok though.” Zuko reminded him.   
“Sure everyone got out of prison alive, but when I see them, when they confide in me about their experiences in there, I can’t help but hear ‘and it was all because of your stupid plan Sokka’ and I feel it on my chest.”  
“Hey-“  
“I’m Katara’s idiot brother, who couldn’t even take care of her when our mom died. She’s right! She’s my little sister and she had to do everything. I’m expected to take charge and take care of people and protect people, but everywhere I go I’m the least capable person in the room and people get hurt because of it, and I just-“

“Sokka!” Zuko cut him off, sharply this time. He touched Sokka’s chin, turning his face to his, deliberately catching his eye contact. “Breathe with me, ok? Into your stomach.”

Sokka slowed, letting this breath out audibly. A shiver up his spine.

“In a lot of ways, I know how you feel.”   
“I know you do.” Sokka knew that, though the circumstances were worlds apart, Zuko had also lost his mother to the Fire Nation.   
“Azula was always better than me at everything, but I was expected to know what to do at every turn. Being the older sibling can be hard, especially when there isn’t room for who you are, or what you actually want. You’re expected to take care of everything. I get it.”   
Zuko had alluded to this before, but there was some comfort to be found in realizing someone so closely understands your experiences.   
“Your childhood was so extreme,” Sokka remarked, “I sometimes forget how much we have in common.”   
“It’s not like yours was uneventful either.” Zuko half laughed. Despite the heaviness of the topic, they couldn’t help but smile at the other. Nothing they had said was new.

The night hung between them, the tension eased with renewed understanding. 

I’m not carrying this by myself anymore. That’s easy to forget. 

“You don’t always have to know what to do, Sokka. And I know you know this already, but it’s worth saying that none of it was your fault.”   
“I know. I know.” Sokka playfully rolled his eyes.  
“You’d say the same to me!” Zuko poked back. “My uncle likes to remind me, when I start to feel like this, that blaming everything on myself isn’t noble. It might feel that way, but its just another way to try to feel some control over a situation that isn’t yours to control. If it was your fault, then maybe something could have gone differently, which is easier to bear than feeling powerless in the situation.”  
Sokka sat with that for a moment, letting it sit in his heart.   
“Maybe you did everything you could. Maybe that’s good enough. It’s always been more than enough for me” Zuko leaned over and kissed his old friend’s cheek.   
Sokka lifted his feet out of the pond, finally letting it rest. 

He turned his face, meeting Zuko’s gaze, then kissed his mouth, long and deep, like a cool drink of water over a dry throat. Life seemed to bloom inside Sokka’s chest then. He was going to be ok. He pulled back, and lingered on the golden eyes of his best friend, his lover, his partner for life. He could be anything with him, and it would be enough. 

“You get up at sunrise. We should get you back to bed.” He laughed, tucking Zuko’s hair back.   
“I’d lose any sleep, if you needed me.”   
“You’re so dramatic. Come on fire lord.” They laughed, helping each other up. 

“Hey Zuko?”   
“Yeah?”   
“I love you. So much.”   
“I love you Sokka.”


End file.
